All you need is a little bit of fire at the right angle, and then you've got a bustling flame.
Let’s be honest. It’s been a minute.
I have not forgotten about you. I have had… difficulty during the holiday. I’ve been knee deep in grief and lowkey self pity. But I needed to go through the lowest of my lows. I am crawling back to the top. The normal me that I know myself to be. Though even that seems like it's too narrow of a box to be in now that I have gone through what I have.
I suppose I must rise and take my own advice. Expansion is beautiful, hard work. Rediscovery is completely something else. Yet I must do both. Must do it all so I can feel whole again. Life without my mom feels like endless soul searching. It makes me realize how much I relied on her to say the things and be the battery in my back while this whole time she was equipping me to do the things myself. I know I am not without wisdom and love.
I am a whole being fully stocked with love and wisdom through my connection. Those times where I am so low, that I want nothing to do with the living, I remember how connected and loved I really am. It catapults me into being grateful. And then ya’ll, I remember how full on gratitude I can get. Let me go down the list. To have had a mother as beautiful and dynamic as she. Whoa. God really understood the assignment. My siblings. Thank you family. Every single time. Thank you. My kid. Though this little Capricorn is the cause of much frustration, I thank you for teaching me about myself. My life is better because you’re in it. My love. Life is pleasurable because of your existence. Keep existing in it. My friends lift me up daily. Those who I see and those who I cannot. I am so endlessly blessed.
And just like that… how dare I be sad? With a life as juicy as this. I want to bite into it everyday and live all the experiences.
Today is the winter solstice and I cannot meditate for long. Writing though… Writing these words right now… this feels like meditation. Welcome back to Off The Socials. You were so missed. Thank you for being here.
All My Love,