The Greatest Love of All

We’re all in search for the greatest love of all.

The person that will make our hearts pulsate upon seeing them. The person that is going to see us for who we are and love every inch of it.

I been.. in these streets. There have been a few times I caught myself acting a little too demanding for a girl who claims she doesn’t want to be in a relationship. This is not new behavior. I am proud to say this time around, I’ve been getting myself together about it though. I cannot say one thing and act completely the opposite. It ain’t right. But, it is okay to indulge in the company of others and the pleasures that come with it. Joy, laughter, sex and semi in depth conversation. But that is not the lifetime goal. Eventually for me, just like many, the goal will be to find the greatest love of all.

In your spirit you know it cannot possibly be the one who doesn’t take the time to see if you ate throughout the day. That can’t possibly be the love that God had for you!

Not the one who asked you your love language and still doesn’t act in accordance! No, not them. How can I attract my greatest love of all?

First, begin with making yourself your greatest love of all. I ask myself: What are the qualities I adore about me and those I do not?

All of the delightful and lovely things you are wanting another to acknowledge about you... have you acknowledged yourself? What are the traits that you find attractive in others? For example: Everyone wants a person with drive and ambition, who gets the job done. Is that who you are on the way to becoming? If not, why not? How can you get there? Let’s make a sexy beast out of you by taking steps closer to being the person you want to attract.

Because ultimately that’s how you usher fullness into your world and not so coincidentally that’s how you get what you want. It is precisely how the law of attraction works. You are what you attract. Cue India Arie’s song, Butterfly.

The things I love about myself include my surges of creativity. I love to write. I love how tapped in I feel when I am expanding on a thought that I cannot verbally express just yet. The deliberate nature of it. I love the connectedness it brings me to myself and others if I choose to share. I like that I take my time with things and my humor, the fullness of my body and so much more.

I dislike that I am inconsistent with my drive. My good intentions begin strong but the inconsistency tapers off my progress. I struggle with sticking to a task if it poses too much difficulty and too little interest, I will almost give up.

What I want is the opposite of my flaws. A person with consistent drive who finishes a task from start to finish, no matter the interest level because there are benefits to finishing things you begin. I also just plain ol think that this is so damn sexy.

Now if that is what I desire in another, if it plain ol just turns me on, then why shouldn’t I be that myself? I am desirable af as I am. Even more so to me when embodying the qualities that will benefit my life that require a bit more intentionality than what is natural to me and my very pick up and put down nature.

Here is the process: On a T-chart

1st column: What kind of person am I? (Be honest, babe)

2nd column: What kind of person do I want? (Your greatest love of all)

Cross out the similarities and examine the differences. Circle the things that you can change about yourself that will benefit you, that straight up will turn you on about yourself if you were more of that from the 2nd column. So if you can’t dance well, but you want a good dancer, become a person who dances more in your life, to become a better dancer!

Before looking for another to be your greatest love of all, turn your gaze inward. Are you your greatest love, first? You might find that you are well on your way to becoming that. Or you’re missing a few things. It might be that you deprived yourself of the treatment and attention you deserve. What is the thing you’ve always said you wanted to do? The instrument you wanted to play? The skill you wanted to learn? Even the issues within yourself you know you need to address. They are hollering for your attention. Pay yourself mind. Succumb to those longings.

You deserve that and so much more.

Instead of being on the socials, go inward more deeply. Feel into what it is that you want from another. Ask yourself if you are your own wildest dreams in the form you are in at this moment. Then turn those wants from that other person around to yourself. If you want another to pay you more attention, pay yourself more attention. If you’re wanting another to be more honest with you… be more honest in how you show up in your own life. Soon you might realize you’re no longer searching for things from another because you’re showing up for yourself more fully. You might find yourself to be your greatest love of all.

The mantra on repeat is: I am deserving of my own attention. I am my greatest love of all.

And baby, you are.